How to Fix Them

How to Fix Them

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Okay, lets talk about "How to Fix Them." (And right off the bat, that phrase makes me a little uneasy, doesnt it?) Because, honestly, nobody is a broken appliance needing repair. Were all messy, complicated, evolving beings. But, lets be real, we all have moments where we think, "Ugh, why cant they just...?" So, lets unpack this, but with a healthy dose of empathy and a big asterisk that reads: "This is about understanding, not controlling."


First, the idea that someone needs fixing is a slippery slope.

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    It suggests theres a "right" way to be, and that anyone deviating from that is somehow flawed. (News flash: there isnt a single "right" way to be a human.) What we often label as needing "fixing" is simply a difference in perspective, values, or how someone processes the world. Maybe their communication style clashes with yours, or their coping mechanisms are, shall we say, less than ideal. But that doesnt automatically make them broken.


    Instead of thinking about "fixing," a more helpful approach is understanding.

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    Why are they behaving the way they are?

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    What experiences have shaped their beliefs and actions? Are they struggling with something youre unaware of? (Seriously, you probably are unaware of a lot.) Trying to see the world through their eyes, even just a little, can be surprisingly illuminating. It might not magically solve everything, but it can at least create a space for more compassionate communication.


    Now, lets say youve done your empathy homework and you still believe theres a pattern of behavior thats genuinely causing harm, either to themselves or others. (Think consistent negativity, unhealthy relationship patterns, or self-destructive habits). Even then, you cant force someone to change. The desire for change has to come from within.


    What you can do is create an environment that supports growth. This means being honest about how their actions affect you, but doing so in a way thats respectful and non-judgmental. (Easier said than done, I know.) Focus on the behavior, not the person. managed it security services provider Instead of saying, "Youre so lazy," try, "I feel frustrated when you dont contribute to household chores because it puts all the burden on me." See the difference?


    Another crucial element is setting healthy boundaries. Youre not responsible for fixing anyone, and you shouldnt let their issues drag you down. If their behavior is consistently draining or harmful, its okay to distance yourself. (Self-preservation is not selfish, its essential.)


    Finally, remember that professional help is often the best solution. If someone is struggling with significant mental health issues or addiction, encourage them to seek therapy or counseling. (Theres absolutely no shame in asking for help.) You can offer support, but youre not a trained professional, and trying to be one can actually do more harm than good.


    So, "How to Fix Them"? The answer, ironically, is to stop trying to fix them. Focus on understanding, communication, boundaries, and encouraging professional help when needed. And, most importantly, remember that everyone is on their own journey, and you can only offer support and encouragement along the way. (And maybe, just maybe, work on fixing yourself a little bit too.

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    We all have room for improvement, right?)

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